I’ve been trying to find the reason for my nightly stream of consciousness for a while now. For a long while now. I’ve thought it might be stress, that it might be diet or a biological conundrum, and I’ve thought it could just very well be my own everyday thoughts, bustling to and fro—choosing to go against the night time tide, and instead wishing desperately to live on and to never halt or stop.
I think of a lot of things, you see. I had another thought one night. I thought it might be just because I don’t want to sleep. Sleep gives rest, yes, but it gives way to escapism and a lack of real consciousness - it is a needed stall, a bodily means of keeping patience a primary virtue, and in that, I simply couldn’t care less.
When I’m awake, while the dark outside takes hold of the more human of us, I am privileged to see the world in a new light—or rather, no light at all. Fun fact: though I am a nearly blind cripple, I have incredible night vision. And so, with just a small touch of reflected white hues I see everything across the trees and gravel roads. I’m able to look out like an old fat hunter, no longer looking for prey, but enjoying his youth in memory alone. I feel like an old battered lone wolf, waiting to die from his grey, and simply looking out one last time at the beauty that he ignored in place of his straight gaze toward survival.
I’ve realized that I just don’t want sleep—there’s simply too much life to live. Now if only I could tell my body that, and what’s more, if the young old devil would believe.
4. Creative thinking
5. Being thick skinned
6. Knowing who you are and what you want from life
7. Setting clear goals – and going after them
8. Staying focused
10. Passion and a zest for life.
Oh there are more, but I like the number
11. Find purpose. Breath in the thought that there is something you have to do—something no other can achieve. Don’t let go of that common thought of humanity that says,
"I want to be extraordinary."
I’ve been away from myself
for so long now.
I’ve been away for so, so, long.
I’ve been away
for so very long.
We’re all one
when we look
at the clock
with every movement
of the old
we won’t ever
part ways with
to our limit—
our mental edge.
that’s just how
I’ve already taken
that final step